Category: Comic

I know it’s hard to believe but Harry Blessing and Joey Miece, two members of The Foshays have finally impressed their mouthy drummer Freddy Foshay! “It’s such a big accomplishment, I never thought I’d see the day! I’m so proud of them!” Stated Freddy late Wednesday night after the bands scheduled rehearsal. “They were doing all the right things. Getting my beverages, laughing at all my insanely funny jokes, and waiting patiently while I was messaging between songs, but when they took my side against my stupid brother, I knew had my crew!” When questioned about these acts of suck-upitude, Harry had a slightly different take “Freddy is our special little guy! It’s important that he feels important.” Joey adds “We find it’s easier to work with him when we just go along with his shenanigans, and besides he’s so cute when he’s a petulant turd!”

We don’t know exactly what hung up Freddy Foshay for almost 4 and half minutes last Friday night, but sources say it was a doozy! “Yeah, we were going to go get tacos, but he was like really upset and stuff, so I grabbed my phone and was like ‘whatever’ and waited until he was done, “stated band mate Joey Miece. “He does this all the time actually, last time he went on a jag, he spent an hour criticizing cat videos for not being ‘cute enough’ for the internet. I was like ‘it’s not that big of a deal’ and he was like ‘Yes it was!’” Lead singer, Harry Blessing has a “live, and let live” philosophy toward Freddy’s online obsessions “Gotta let Freddy be Freddy-Yo! Besides, last time I tried to get him to put down his phone, he bit me!” Brother and defecto leader of The Foshays, Franky Foshay, couldn’t be more resolute, “My brother, Freddy Foshay, is an idiot, and everything he posts is utterly ridiculous!”  Opinions may vary on Freddy’s lack of discretion, but we may never know exactly what gave him pause Friday night. Likely his tweets and posts have been lost in a deluge of other tweets and posts, as the internet swirls ever inward, down the drain.

Over the past few weeks reports have been coming in that Franky Foshay, guitarist and defacto leader of the rock band The Foshays, is sick of going out. Brother, and drummer extraordinaire, Freddy Foshay has a few thoughts on why his sibling is acting the loner these days, “Franky has always been an overly sensitive dip-wad. He’s probably mad because he’s having a ‘bad mustache day’ or something.” Harry Blessing, lead singer and co songwriter has a different take on Franky absence from the scene “It’s true Franky can be the sensitive type but don’t count him out yet! After all he owes me five dollars and he knows I really really really need it, so I’m sure I’ll see him soon. You think?” So far Franky has not been available for comment, but we’ve left several messages on his voice mail.

Everybody knows MTV gave up on Rock and Roll a long time ago, but for some reason that doesn’t seem to phase The Foshays lead singer and drummer, Harry Blessing and Freddy Foshay. “Oh, I can’t stand MTV! Their programming is the worst!!! But I dig the pop spectacle of the VMA’s I really do man!” states Blessing. Foshay chimes in “Yeah! It’s like being on a weird fame planet, where everybody is famous, knows someone who is famous, or works for somebody who is famous! That’s cool!” Okay guys, but what about the music? When asked, Freddy was a little defensive  “MTV plays music?! No way! Yer pulling my leg! If this is a set up you’ll be hearing from my lawyer!” Harry also seemed confused about Music Televisions playlist, “Oh! those we’re videos? I thought they were iPhone commercials! God I feel stupid…By the way, do you know who’s up for best iPhone commercial this year?” A more confidant Freddy Foshay rebounds “Listen, we may not be as hip as your average 14-16 year old girl, but one day The Foshays will do our own iPhone commercial and show them all!” Unfortunately the two bandmates were too busy hooting and high-fiving each other for further comment.

Watch the VMA’s Monday August 20, 8/7c

http://www.mtv.com/vma

Yes it’s official! The last Foshay rehearsal went on little late Wednesday night. When questioned about how this snaffu occurred, Franky Foshay was a little defensive “Hey don’t look at me! I know all our songs and I saw no need to keep working after our pretermined scheduled time. Just because my fellow band mates couldn’t stop rocking doesn’t mean anything. In fact it’s probably a good thing!” Brother and band mate Freddy Foshay has a different take on the evening “I’m not into unbridled enthusiasm with out my approval, and after all I had a date with a drive thru window and my super burrito doesn’t like to be kept waiting.” Unfortunately Harry Blessing and Joey Miece could not be found for comment. Rumor has it they are still in the studio working on a new stage show that will involve a lot of pyrotechnics.

Poor Franky Foshay can’t seem to get anybody to listen to him these days. Maybe it’s because of the lame attempt of his to have a “band meeting” earlier this summer. Or maybe it’s his hackneyed colloquialism “C’mere a minute.” Oh Franky I’m sure you got some fans out there who have the time to listen to you pontificate about the finer points of late 60’s bubble gum superstars 1910 Fruit Gum Factory, or your multitude of reasons why “Give Us a Wink” is the best Sweet album of all time. Just keep the faith Bro! See you next week!

Are you ready for the next big thing? The game changer of all game changers? Or do you just want take a shIt? Well either way The Foshays has got you covered. Harry Blessing is the always optimistic front man, who can’t wait to exploit the current pop cause. BUT “Old School Freddy” (at least that’s what his grandma calls him) can’t be bothered with such tripe. He’s over it before it’s even started. He’s under it before it’s even over. You may think that you have got him covered, but he could care less.  Harry, on the other hand, will cradle you to bed with sweet dreams and self affirming rock n roll rhythms, Freddy, just wants punch you in the face with his drums!

Oh Freddy! Don’t take it personal. Just because Franky’s voice is an atonal cacophony of random complaints and criticism, doesn’t mean he has anything in common death metal… I mean… uh wait a minute, let me rephrase that… Just because Franky’s soulless heart is filled with black muck that looks like oil from your car after 8683 miles … uhhhhhhhh… no that’s not right. One more time… Your brother, Franky Foshay, may be annoying… NO! I mean just take the time to listen to your brother. He cares about you and has the best intentions. Really he does!

Sometimes you need to do something different. Move past the horizon and try to see the unseen. Foshay frontman, Harry Blessing, knows this instinct better than most. Luckily he’s in the Rock n Roll business, where one is expected to produce the predictably unexpected.   So don’t worry people, there are still mysteries out there to be demystified, and Mr. Blessing is more than willing to lead the way.

Now Franky has stepped in it for reals. He only wanted to have an innocent little band meeting where the group could listen to him pontificate about his dreams and scattered expectations for rock and roll excellence. Now he’s in the dregs having to deal with the real nuts-and-bolts issues of being in a creative unit. Oh well Franky you asked for it, and besides, Joey poses an important question here. Just tell him you’ll give it some thought and pat him on the head.